And while you were busy asking for His Love, His Nearness, His Understanding, there stumbled upon an experience. An experience that you never thought you'd go through, a sight you never imagined you'd confront. A situation you never realized you'd be in. A feeling you had never felt. A feeling you that you didn't even know had ever existed.
Strangely, it was not Him. You resisted it. You fought it. You denied it. You stayed silent against the force with which the experience overpowered your ability to comprehend. To make sense. To give words to what it was. Still is.
Rationality suspended. All modes of expression mute. Inability to express suddenly seeming frustrating yet satisfying. You plan to run away. From the soul that has been touched within you. From the awareness that you now hold knowledge of. It is like, being given a responsibility to rationally handle something you can't even comprehend. Something you were not exactly even looking for.
And through this experience, you became aware. Aware of that very point where you currently stand. That very point where your will ends. And His start. Where He takes charge. Point where you realize how poor you are. Point where you despite being the richest, are still the poorest. The one seemingly at loss.
The point where you desperately want to regain your confidence in time. The point where you want to go back and live with the masses, believing and following their mundane definition of time. The point where you want to strengthen your grip on Now while the experience is forcing you to run into the future.
You keep questioning. You still do. Whys. All sorts of them. You were never on this path. You never asked for it. But then, you realize.
A teacher often pauses his Lesson. And gives another tougher lesson, A side lesson. He says, this side lesson is imperative. Without this side concept, you will not be able to learn the Original Lesson properly.
He often pauses. And gives you an assignment. To teach you a skill. A skill He says you'd need to Reach Him more comfortably.
You ask. Which skill. Which side lesson.
He says, the Skill of wanting. The skill of feeling the Thirst. The skill of bearing patiently yet yearning with that vacuum.
For how could you claim to walk on the path of Love, if you haven't even experienced the way of love.
Strangely, it was not Him. You resisted it. You fought it. You denied it. You stayed silent against the force with which the experience overpowered your ability to comprehend. To make sense. To give words to what it was. Still is.
Rationality suspended. All modes of expression mute. Inability to express suddenly seeming frustrating yet satisfying. You plan to run away. From the soul that has been touched within you. From the awareness that you now hold knowledge of. It is like, being given a responsibility to rationally handle something you can't even comprehend. Something you were not exactly even looking for.
And through this experience, you became aware. Aware of that very point where you currently stand. That very point where your will ends. And His start. Where He takes charge. Point where you realize how poor you are. Point where you despite being the richest, are still the poorest. The one seemingly at loss.
The point where you desperately want to regain your confidence in time. The point where you want to go back and live with the masses, believing and following their mundane definition of time. The point where you want to strengthen your grip on Now while the experience is forcing you to run into the future.
You keep questioning. You still do. Whys. All sorts of them. You were never on this path. You never asked for it. But then, you realize.
A teacher often pauses his Lesson. And gives another tougher lesson, A side lesson. He says, this side lesson is imperative. Without this side concept, you will not be able to learn the Original Lesson properly.
He often pauses. And gives you an assignment. To teach you a skill. A skill He says you'd need to Reach Him more comfortably.
You ask. Which skill. Which side lesson.
He says, the Skill of wanting. The skill of feeling the Thirst. The skill of bearing patiently yet yearning with that vacuum.
For how could you claim to walk on the path of Love, if you haven't even experienced the way of love.
i can so relate to this!beautifully expressed!
ReplyDeleteI comprehended it in my way n am at a loss for words. It reminds me of my recent trip in a way. unbelievable. comprehensible. n at an utter loss for words but satisfied at this reaction of mine.
ReplyDelete