I think we live in a world where there is an increasing need to liberate ourselves and do things out of love and not perceived obligations.
I can't say a lot with confidence about other societies, but the one I stem from essentially tames and limits a woman to its roles..Forming expectations and associating a fixed set of obligations to it.
You are born a daughter, sister, turn into a wife, mother, daughter in law, mother in law, grandmother and so on.
All these seem to be confining identity. By way of proudly introducing these roles, not only do we squeeze and cut out a woman to fit into these roles, we implicitly then expect them to behave and not behave a certain way. External influences unto how you are to behave in a certain role often gets heavy. Happily so often, it overshadows a woman's personality which often unveils itself in depression, bitter relationships and complicated negativity towards spouse/the rest in old age.
I was brought up intensely as a human than as anything else. It helped me realize the passion, enthusiasm and power involved in doing things out of
Love and not merely out of obligation. It helped me breathe/live and serve as a human and not as out of any role.
I suppose liberating a woman and raising a human to love and live out of love is extremely essential.
I only realized so after getting married whereby, said and unsaid expectations of beyond immediate families become evident. 'Oh, you are married now..' 'Oh! You live with your in-laws? Must be difficult no?' 'Oh, now you have a baby, stay home yes' 'Oh, Zainab is so lucky that she has an educated mother'
All this somehow seems to be limiting identity of sorts. I am here, sitting at home, choosing to be a stay at home wife/mom at the moment for my reasons. Not out of obligation.
We have a choice as humans and most importantly as women. As most specifically as South Asian Muslim Women perceived through a certain lens by inside and outside of community alike. A choice to assume power of practicing love and actions out of love and for the sake of love. Not out of obligation. Don't be a good daughter/sister/wife/mother/daughter in law and so forth only because you are expected to be so. Don't just sit and robotically fulfil expectations set upon you by the world.
Assume power of choice and practice actions out of love. Don't compromise and volunteer for anything in a relationship or in life because you're obligated so. Do so out of Love. In fact, Liberate yourself from the delusion of obligation and do it purely out of love.
To all the women rejecting self contained shackles of victimisation, struggling and tiptoeing around patriarchy while teaching, practicing and spreading nothing but Love and growing wise with the daily struggles of life. Lots of love to you. You are and you have what has inspired me to write this today.
