Back.

What happened she asked.
I've lost my way I answered.

What way she asked.
You see the people praying so eagerly? That way. I responded. That. I envy those. I've lost my eagerness. My passion.

Your words fail you? She asked.
Words? There were feelings that would flow into words each time. Today I stand at nothing. Utter and shere unexplainable loneliness. No feelings. No words.

Each answer and justification to the world of where I belonged in my Heart bit by bit made me lose my way.

With each question of rationality, I timidly stepped back from Connection.

Each moment of worldly opinion held my feet and dragged me away. Slowly and gradually. Away from the Heart.

Till the conversations got louder. Till the words took over the serenity of silence. Till I entered autumn and the breaking of leaves hurt my soul as I stepped further back.

Till the connection blurred.

So, there you are. She said. Shaking me back to Life.

I looked around. I was back.

She had held my hand and had taken me back.

It was that simple? I wondered. It was awkward at first. It was silent and peaceful. No deeper meanings. No intense feelings. Just us for a while. Me within my heart. She held my heart and took me back to my heart where I belonged. To the feeling. To Him. To conversations with Him.

Back to Serendipity. .

Connection exists. Within each of us. We get up and step back from it when we fall prey to justifying the Grandeur.

In my timidy to justify. I had forgotten there are as many paths to God as there are humans. I had lost my way to my own heart. I had lost my way to.my God.

Dark.

Today. They snatched away another human being.

One by one I am helplessly witnessing as they come, shoot and ride away.

One by one I am losing good humans. I am losing them all. One by one.

I scream inside. My screams fade in the evil sounds of vultures screaming infidels, I clench and hide my little one in my arms as they make their way towards us.

I am dying. One by one. Helplessly I witness.

Rest in Peace Amjad Sabri.
Rest in Peace Pakistan. No wait. Hope you never rest in peace. Hope we wakeup.

I look around with fearful eyes. As everyone smiles back, they all seem to have loved my uncle. They all seem to have even loved Amjad Sabri too. Who could then possibly kill them?

I look around hopelessly. I look around helplessly. I look around as I feel strangulated with the rising voices, rising screams of delusional peace.

I look around as I am hoping they won't come for me.

I look around as I am hoping somebody will fight back and remind them of True God.

I look up and ask God where humans are.

I look into my arms and whisper hope to my little one.

I clench my hands and squeeze my eyes to pray.

I hold a hand of a passerby asking if he knows about God and Humans and mercy.

He looks blankly, narrows his sight and asks if I am an infidel. The one they are destined to kill.

No more mourning. I don't have energy to mourn more.

Enough is what I want to scream.

I scream one last. Come, get up as my scream fades again.