Camp

I fail you each day, yet you're there.
Like a wanderer in the desert, I walk toward your camp.
I seek help, I besiege. You give me the shelter I need.

I continue my journey early morning.
With the trades of the day, I earn jewels for my life.
You guide me. You route my ways. My destiny.

I ask you to show me your love.
I ask you to help me feel you.
I ask you to let me come near you.

I take a step, you fly me to the destination.
I raise my hands, you hear my silence.
I don't ask, you answer me like that.

It becomes a habit. You're there.
Until, I walk away. Silently and gradually.
Pulled into the whirlpool. Whirlpool stronger than any.

Its dark shadows engulfing me
Its bright light blinding me into darkness
Its fame causing the pain unknown.

I feel the devoid. I feel the sense.
I feel the gap. I feel the pain.
In Silence, I feel.

I am still. And numb.
I walk slowly. To the camp of yours.
Guilty and afraid

I ask you. I complain.
Why send me to the whirlpool
When I had only asked for you.

Why show me what won't last.
Why give me what's to vanish.
Why make me feel what's not there.

Each time, I asked me for you,
I got more of your absence in return.
For every Real light was met with an illusion of light.

Each devoid, each whirlpool vanishes.
Sending me back to you broken.

The sun is setting, it feels like I am back home.
Back to your camp. Like a tired traveller.
whose journey is yet to end.

Sitting outside the camp today. 

I write and I wait.