It has been a while since I wrote. As months pass by, as I move, evolve and get busy with obsessively learning new things to adept and adopt, this place stays here in silence. Giving remote peace and visited so seldom.
Today, after really long, I found myself standing by this window again. Here, right here. This window. With the glimpse of Shell's guard distantly in the background, that car, that stillness of this hour. Everything is just so absolutely the same when I stand here again at this window today.
Strangely enough, I have stood by this place gazillion times. I have cried, sobbed, laughed, giggled, painted, scribbled blogposts..all by this place. I have thought and arrived at some of the most important decisions of my life, here, by this place. Every decision has taken me on a journey.
Today, standing here, after nearly one year, I find myself lost again. Staring at my posts, I wonder who was it in me that wrote. Standing here and struggling to paint, to scribble, to define the serene stillness and silence of a company of one here, I am left dumbfounded. Perhaps, finding myself here is an indication to stir within. The thoughts, the realization of the time. Of this time, to get up and decide forward. To move. To learn.
This window is so much like my blog.
Both haven't changed. And in the midst of busy lives everywhere, I stand here still, cherishing the moments of painful Change. Realizations are painful. Realizing that time flies is somewhere somehow intensely painful as well. Realizing your struggle and disconnection from your own window, your own writing is painful too. But in this pain somewhere, somehow, still stubbornly lies the familiar. In all the change of moments, there still somehow lies a figment of what has been us.
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