Nothing of mine to say.

Few days before my marriage, Abu came into my room. He sat and we talked. A conversation overdue. We've always connected over a lot of things -any topic and we'd connect.

But that day. The topic was different. The topic was Ammi. I thought he'd tell me how she has been as a wife, potentially guiding me for my future. However, his conversation delved more broadly into ammi as a human.

For every single blogpost that I have ever written. Every single good thought that I may have ever expressed, shared in any way/form. Every single idea, every single spark of positivity. Every single sudden moments of hope in bleak darkness and despair, every single push when I never wanted to get up. Every single word, thought or idea. Every single way to recognise which thoughts to entertain and how to. Every single time when I fell short of absolutely anything.

Even today, I have nothing of mine to say. No thought of mine to share. Just a lesson so basic, so simple so aptly put by her all the time. Literally all the time. 'Zindagi sirf lamhaye maujood hai (Life is only in this moment, this now).'

Thank you Abu for making me realize the human she is.
Thank you Zainab for making me feel the mother she is.

Thank you Ma for all these years of positivity that I can never put in words. You showed me how to be a mother, a great wife, a wonderful companion and a human that I hope I ever am. Words fall short and start seeming cliche as I can't remove the label of being your daughter to express who you have been as a human to me and to the world around me. No degree in psychology, no self help book and no mentor can teach what you have taught me. No words can do justice.

I can perhaps never use an excuse that I didn't ever see a perfect human in my life. Ever so evolving that you make me feel old in front of you.

Sitting here today, I wish I become a mother like you. But rather I hope, wish and pray that I first become a human like you.

Happy Birthday Ma, wishing countless more moments of learning from you. Thank you for being who you are to me and to the world.