This friend.

I once had a friend. 

I loved that friend. 

This friend of mine, intrigued me. fascinated me. 

There was this aura of mystery around this friend. 

I loved how this friend would question me. Yet be the answer to my questions. 

I loved how this friend said exactly what was in my mind. 

Until I became obsessed with this friend. Totally. 

And then started the games. 

I realized this friend of mine suddenly had started playing games. 

Games of all sorts. Hide and seek. Run and catch. Stop and freeze. 

I began liking those games. Loving those games. 

I became part of those games. 

Because it was challenging. It was intriguing. 

But then, this friend, never spoke to me directly. 

This friend just spoke through games. 

That remained the only conversations we had. 

And then, one day, tired of losing some and winning some games. 

Tired of no conversations but games.

I stopped this friend of mine. 

Stopped this friend right in the tracks. 

Caught this friend finally. 

Caught this friend's attention and asked. 

Asked about the games. 

This friend just looked at me blankly.

Blinked. Once, twice and just blinked.

Looked directly into my eyes and went mute. 

As usual.

Another game...

But before I could label this silence as yet another game..

I heard a voice. 

Some voice. 

It hit me. 

I realized. 

This friend was nothing more, nothing less than a machine of thoughts. 

This friend was not a game player but a part of the game I had imagined. 

There was no game. 

There was no player. 

This friend..was my brain. My mind rather. 

It was just a fabric of my imagination. 

The games. The chase. The talks. The obsessions. The hurts. The pains. 

With this world, with myself, with others, with my ideas, with my successes, with my failures. 

Every single thing..was nothing. No Game. Just me and my mind. 

My mind processes thoughts. A web of it. 

Pac-man like. Entangled web of thoughts. 

And then, letting me fall victim to processing those thoughts. 

Running and chasing, stopping and freezing. 

Running and chasing, stopping and freezing. 

Running and chasing, stopping and freezing 

Illusions of completeness, illusions of emptiness. 

Illusions of pain, illusions of happiness. 

And in all these illusions, I began making this friend, my friend. 

And in all these people, I began making this friend, my friend.

And in all this time, I began playing the games with this friend. 

This friend, my mind. 

And in searching for something to fill the emptiness, I began telling this friend that it was the only thing that could. 

All these people, things and materials that I look to fill the emptiness with, all this outside of me, all this is nothing but my mind's figment of imagination. 

An illusion..of nothing but of this friend, my mind. 

I spent double the time and effort to convince this friend that it was and could be the friend that complemented. 

If only I had spent half of that time and effort to convince myself that I was wrong. 

If only I could break this illusion of this friend, my mind. 

For nothing lies outside my heart's wisdom. Not even in my brain. 

Only what lies is inside and with Him.