three types.

There are three kinds of Gratitude in the world.

One. When we get what we want. We realize its worth and feel absolutely blessed with it. We often practice this one. Easiest to practice perhaps. Because, in such circumstances, happiness and joy is naturally coming to you. That sparkle in your eye, that natural laughter, that smile on anything and everything. You feel blessed. Thankful.

Two. When we don't get what we want. In such a situation; stories/fables/parents/world tells us to stay put. We discover our joy through sufferings we feel. Through the vacuum within, we push ourselves in one direction - towards hope and faith.

Three. When we get what we want, but not what we want; when we get what we maybe wanted. but not what we clearly and surely desired. In such a case, there is a friction. Everywhere. Opposing forces. Internal versus external struggle. Right versus left struggle. Heart versus brain struggle. Its a friction and battle. Battle. It is as if, Life has shut us up by giving us something; stealing our right to frown. Obligating us to smile, cherish and be thankful.

The problem with the last kind of situation is, you feel confused. In this situation, is it then fair to state that something seems unfair somewhere. You wonder. In that wonder, you smile. And in that smile against the heartache or disappointment. You smile against the funny thing called fate. You smile and in that heavy smile, your heaviness feels comforting. As if the heaviness is hugging you and consoling you. You look around and feel grateful. For you're still feeling. And that is what matters.

It is like trusting and holding your dad's hand, ignoring the pain from the last fall, while he picks you up and teaches you to walk.

Happy Independence Day to the "Land".

Once upon a time, there was a piece of land inhabited by a bunch of people. Another bunch of people wandered into their territory. There was a big fight. Everybody was split into groups. Divided over hate, beauty, ugliness, love and what not. So well, they started killing each other. 

In order to prevent mass killing, one of the smarter ones from the lot dreamed of a separate land. So well, they all sat together and decided to draw a line on the paper and split their colors and beauties and loves into two. All picked up their loves, beauties and ownership patents of different gods and went their own ways. 

Now, one of the piece of land has a bunch of people. They got their land and after a few years, proudly patented it with a stamp of god. They drew a definition of this god to help them identify any intruders or foreign enemies. After sometime, they too started fighting amongst themselves. Anybody not adhering to the god that they owned is brutally killed. Given their past history of intrusion from foreign lands. 

Today, this is piece of otherwise beautiful land - said to be the fruit bowl of Asia, rich in finest of natural beauties. Today, on this land, these people have been entitled by some god that they own to kill each other. Some strongly own this god. Some are scared not to follow. While, all the silent ones in air conditioned, classy confines of their cars have little or nothing to complain about. 

Today, on this very piece of land, there is another meeting going on. There seems to be another smart one proposing an idea of an independent state. However, this time, the smart one doesn't seem to be a human. Because humans here are silent. mute. dead perhaps. It is the very piece of pure land debating. Imagine, the evening breeze of Karachi stained with the blood of minorities talking to the injured widow beauty of Swat. Both discussing the prospects of gaining independence from the people. 

We so proudly assume that this country "needs" us. Have we ever paused to consider and ask back if this country really even wants us now? Do we even deserve this piece of land which we deliberately own? 

We have encroached this land. This is not our land. This is not our piece of land. This stopped being our land the day we started silently witnessing all the killings, all the atrocities. 

Look around, fancy shopping all night at the malls to celebrate an independence day - Independence for burger pakistanis.   

Look around, boys on bikes with guns all night to harass and "party"? - Independence for the frustrated youth. 

Look around, smart brains sitting with a cup of coffee and being quaid e azam on social media? - Independence for smartphone and Apple users.

Look around, a rigorous bunch of intellectuals defending "abhi sub kuch nahi bigra"? Independence day for the non resident pakistanis in beautiful denial. 

Look around, minorities sulking the deaths of their loved ones? Oh well, who what how where what's that. sorry. 

Look around, humans dead. dead? huh what's that. 

Today, there is a discussion. A debate. A night of resolution. Of all the parts of land that we have committed injustice on. This nature does not want us. This land does not want us. All they now want is independence from us. They perhaps will not need to struggle for it.

As a four year old victim of a recent blast had weakly smiled and said, "nobody would be here alive on this land after sometime anyway.." The only human that seems to be not living in a denial. 

Happy Independence Day to the Land. 

Dance away.

Dance away to the sheer joy of knowing what is yours and what is not. 

Dance away happily to serve what needs you.. 

But do not for once burden the unasked. 
But do not for once disturb the silent. 
Give up to yourself and dance away. 
Dance away knowing the intentions of your joy. 
To the next task. 
To the next work. 
To the next need.
To the next yearning. 
Dance away giving what ought to be given.

Dance away your pain.

Dance away to the Silence. 
Sway to the rhythms of Life

And Feel the Light of your Being. 

For in dancing away, you Trust the Giver of Trust. 
You feel the joy like never before. 

Be there.

Feel.

Feel intently from the joys of enthusiastic attachment to the lows of fading away.

When the world comes running to you

When all your boundaries of self shatter down on the ground.

When the world catches you off guard, subtly manipulates you

Shrewdly makes you vulnerable

To its sweet dependence

Be there. For it will pain when it departs. When it starts to fade away.

Be there to the pain of denial.

Be there to the pain of acceptability

Be there to the pain of knowing that the pain won’t last

Be there to the remembrance

Be there to the knowing that remembrance won‘t last

Let yourself be outwardly torn. Shattered. Broken.

Let it shuffle you. Move you.

Let it do whatever it wants, while your inner self stays calm.

But when it begins to depart.

Be sure to hand over your ego, your self, your boundaries to it.

Be sure to become nothing. Absolutely nothing outwardly.

And then surely, will the inner peace emerge to become the You

The You that you were meant to be.

Be there. Be there to gracefully witness.

For, through igniting the pain in you

He wants you to feel the pain of around.

With the pain subsiding, let the aware self talk to the Universe

The Inner Self now has been injected with the Power

The Power to Feel, to Heal what’s there in the world.

And then, you understand the purpose of all.

The pain in you was to help you become aware of the pain in the universe.

It was to make you heal.

It is the right of the world leaving from you,

To protect the rest like He protected your inner self. 

Thirst, Joy and Love.

Why are you gulping down so much water? The mother asked, concerned looking at her young kid. 

Because I won't be getting water for the next 18 hours! How would I survive. The kid responded back while hurriedly taking glass after glass. 

So you're afraid of dehydration? The mother continued. 

Don't know about dehydration, but yes, I am scared that I'd get thirsty which I know I will. The kid was now on his 4th glass. 

So you think you're not going to feel thirsty for the next 18 hours because you're drinking 10 glasses right now? She smiled. 

Yes, well, of course. Isn't it so. I don't know the science. I just want to sustain this feeling for the next 18 hours. I didn't know what thirst was, until, well I kept my first fast and went outside to play in the heat. That thirst made me realize the worth of quenching the thirst. The son was confused. 

She smiled and began. 

"When we all are born, we all are surrounded with Love and Joy. We all grow up experiencing Love and Joy in one way or the other. That tender hug, that mom's attention, that daddy's gift, that teacher's smile, that aunty's food. Each offers a taste of Love, of Joy. We all are well fed on it. However, subtly, somewhere, silently within us, there are boundaries growing. Each bad food, each bad taste, each interaction lacking Joy and Love construct boundaries of ego around us. Brick after brick. So much so, that we lose track of the Joy and Love and become accustomed to living within our ego boundaries. We now view each act of Love, each act of unconditional Love with suspicion. We inspect it. investigate it. Even shun it away thinking that it must have some strings attached to it. 

We become thirsty. We become thirsty of Love of Pure Joy, of Pure Exhilaration that we had once experienced. One touch, one hug, one smile, one act of Unconditional giving, one glance of somebody we really like; we began craving these moments. We become clingy, looking for these moments in our daily lives. Fishing for them. And when we do experience them. Our reasons suspend. Our rationality and thinking halts. We experience Pure Joy. Pure Love. Be it in the moment of talking to a kid on the street or listening to the knowledge of a wise. You want to gulp down those moments like a kid preparing for his fast. You want to sustain the feeling of Satisfaction, of Connection. You just don't want to feel Thirsty. 

The problem is, gulping moments like glasses of water can never ensure that we will not be thirsty in the coming hours. Trying hard to make moments eternal can never make them eternal. Denying and then rejecting those moments as nothing but unreal and temporary joy/love doesn't help either. For those moments are as Real as Him. The closest you can get to experiencing His Love, His Joy is through experiencing these Moments right here right now, through His people. 

Thirst is a naturally occurring phenomena. It has nothing to do with how many glasses of water you gulp down in the morning. it has to do with your internal system. 

If you gulp down moments while you are internally disconnected with the Real Love, your moments will remain temporary. You'll keep on gulping down water sehri after sehri in the hopes of not feeling thirsty till the evening. You'll remain at internal conflict. 

If you experience moments with the Belief that its the Glimpse of Him

If you experience moments with the Faith that its sent by Him

If you give in those moments with the emotion that its for Him

With your thinking suspended, your rationality aside, You Live to Experience Him. His Joy. 

If you Realize that those moments, those people, those joys, those loves are nothing but sent by Him then You'd continue experiencing them. You'd never be thirsty. You'd be at peace. You'd be connected to the Lover of Lovers."

After that, the mother got up and started clearing the table. The kid seemed lost. He said, "Wow, mom, sometimes, I am amazed at the way you teach me wisdom.".

She turned back and responded, "I am just a mom. Now imagine, He who is countless times closer to you than me, Imagine the ways and moments through which He teaches you wisdom  and talks to you."

And then, you understand. Your start of internal peace is when you Realize, that He sends down Love & Joy for you through His people. Every single day. Every single time. Become His agent o spread the moments together, forever, everywhere. 

Listen

Listen. 

Listen intently to the Silence in which and with which He speaks to you. 

Listen to the streams of thoughtless voices and meandering hope

Strip away your armors of manipulating joys. 

Crib away your attempts to feel the pain. 

Do away your language. 

For its of no use. No not anymore. 

Delete each word and replace. 

Replace it with Silence. 

Listen. 

Go feel him in your mosque. In your synagogue. In your church. In your mandir. 

Wherever, whichever sect, whichever language. Just listen. 

Look up and smile to His Silence. Look down and shudder to His Silence. 

Listen to the absolute language of Nothing.

For He is not saying anything. Nothing until you surrender and Listen. 

Listen intently to the Silence in which and with which He speaks to you. 

For someday, You'll understand His Silence. For today, just Listen. 

Ports

I asked her (21 years old inspiration of mine who I recently met) if I could write something about her; reproduce her comparison/understanding of life. She just texted me back telling me I could. So here I am. Just reproducing her thoughts. 

There was lake next to the place I grew up. I didn't know what dirty and pure was. I didn't also know what good and bad was. I didn't recognize the bugs from flowers. I just enjoyed all that came. Like everybody else, I just went there every afternoon, taking a swim across, enjoying the weather and coming back home. 

I didn't ever pause to reflect why it was called the black lake. Neither I ever realized why some people often went missing or discontinued from the swim after sometime. I just continued enjoying the way I lived. 

But then, one day, I was taking a swim when I noticed a small injury. It grew big the next day. It kept itching. Like dirt accumulated, the patch dark and there. Few days later, I noticed another injury. 

Each injury slowed me. Bogged me. Gradually, it restrained my energy to swim the way others did. I sat on the shore, envying while the rest took the evening swim. Then, came along a doctor. He took my hand and led another lake. I told him I couldn't swim because of the injuries I had gotten. He insisted that I swim. 

Then, one day, giving into his insistence, I took the dip. I dipped and swam. It hurt and burned the injuries there. Each dip gave the sensation I detested. Each swim wasn't the dream swim I was used to once upon a time. Each minute, each second of it was terrible. Each rub plucked and made fun of my injuries. After a while of detesting and combating it, I gave in. I let the pure crystals of the water hit each wound. Each of it. One by one. I let the warm rays of sun burn through. I let it happen. And then, I was healed. The wounds disappeared. People think I am a fool rejoicing the fresh water lake swim which caused so much pain to my wounds. 

I just sit there and smile. Because The joy of swimming in the fresh water lake can never be understood, it can only be felt. Because you can see the wounds caught from the pettiness disappearing; one by one releasing in the fresh water lake like heavy ships release its accumulated metal dirt in fresh water ports.